People refer to various duties, rights and obligations, but
these are not the basic Sathyadharma; they are only means and
methods of regulating the complications of living. They are not
fundamental. All these moral codes and approved behaviour are
prompted by the need to cater to two types of creatures and two
types of natures - viz., masculine and feminine.
They connote Prakrithi and Paramathma, gross and subtle, inert
and conscious, the all-pervading duet. All this creation came
about by the inter-relation of the Inert and the Conscious, did it
not? So too, all the various mores have emerged on account of this
bifurcation. All this ramification and elaboration of Dharma is
due to this: the Masculine and Feminine.
Therefore, the chief Dharma for the practical progress of the
world is the moral conduct and behaviour of these two; whatever
any great teacher might teach it cannot go beyond these two
distinct natures.
The Purushadharma for the male and the Stridharma for the
female are important applications of the Sathyadharma mentioned
above. Other codes and disciplines are but accessories,
tributaries like the streams that meet the Godavari when it is
coursing forward. They are related to the various circumstances,
situations and statuses that are temporary; you have to pay
attention to the main river and not the tributaries. Similarly,
take the major Masculine and Feminine Dharma as the chief guides
of living and do not give the minor accessory dharmas any decisive
place in the scheme of living.
Stridharma: The Feminine Principle is spoken of as the illusion
imposed upon Himself by the Lord, as the Energy with which He
equipped Himself out of His own will. This is the Maya, the
Feminine Form. This is the reason why Woman is considered as
Parasakthi Swarupa. She is the faithful companion of Man, his
Fortune; since she is the concretisation of the Will of the Lord,
she is Mystery, Wonder, the representative of the protective
Principle; the Queen of his home, his beneficence, the
Illumination of the house. Women who are repositories of the
Sakthiswarupa are in no way inferior; how full of fortitude,
patience and prema is their nature! Their self-control is seldom
equaled by men. They are the exemplars and leaders for men to
tread the spiritual path. Pure self-less love is inborn in women.
Women who are full of knowledge, who are cultured, who are bound
by love and who are keen on discriminating whether their words and
deeds are in conformity with Dharma - such women are like the
Goddess Lakshmi, bringing joy and good fortune to the home. That
home, where the husband and the wife are bound together by holy
love, where every day both are engaged in the reading of books
that feed the soul, where the Name of the Lord is sung and His
Glory remembered, that home is really the Home of the Lord,
Vaikunta! The woman who is attached to her husband by means of
Love is indeed a flower radiating rare perfume; she is a precious
gem, shedding luster in the family, a wife endowed with virtue is
really a brilliant jewel.
Chastity is the ideal for womankind. By the strength derived
from that virtue, they can achieve anything. Savithri was able,
through that power, to win back the life of her husband; she
actually fought with the Lord of Death. Anasuya, the wife of the
Sage Athri and the mother of Dattatreya, was able to transform
even the Trinity into infants. Nalayani, who was devoted to her
leper husband, could by the mysterious force of her chastity stop
the sun in its course! Chastity is the crown jewel of women. That
is the virtue for which she has to be most extolled. Its
beneficent consequences defy description. It is the very breath of
life. By means of her chastity and the power it grants, she can
save her husband from calamity. She saves herself by her virtue
and wins, without doubt, even heaven, through her chastity.
Damayanthi burnt into ashes a hunter who attempted to molest her,
by the power of her "word". She bore all the travails of lonely
life in the jungle, when her husband, King Nala deserted her, all
of a sudden becoming the victim of cruel Fate.
Modesty is essential for women; it is her priceless jewel. It
is against Dharma for a woman to overstep the limits of modesty;
crossing the limits brings about many calamities. Why, the very
glory of womanhood will be destroyed. Without modesty, woman is
devoid of beauty and culture. Humility, purity of thought and
manners, meekness, surrender to high ideals, sensitivity,
sweetness of temper - the peculiar blend of all these qualities is
modesty. It is the most invaluable of all jewels for women.
The modest woman will ever keep within limits, through her
innate sense of propriety. She becomes automatically aware which
behaviour is proper and which is improper. She will stick only to
virtuous deeds and behaviour. Modesty is the test of a woman's
grandeur. If a woman has no modesty she is injuring the interests
of womanhood itself, besides undermining her own personality. She
is like a fragranceless flower, which the world does not cherish
or honour, or even approve. The absence of modesty makes life, for
a woman, however rich in other accomplishments, a waste and a
vacuum. Modesty lifts her to the heights of sublime holiness. The
modest woman wields authority in the home and outside, in the
community as well as in the world.
Some might interrupt and ask: "But, women who have swallowed
all the compunctions of modesty are being honoured today! They
strut about with heads erect and the world honours them not a whit
less." I have no need to acquaint myself with these activities of
the present-day world. I do not concern myself with them. They may
be receiving honour and respect of a sort, but the respect is not
authorised or deserved. When honour is offered to the undeserving,
it is tantamount to insult; to accept it when offered is to demean
the very gift. It is not honour, but flattery that is cast on the
immodest by the selfish and the greedy. It is like spittle dirty
and unpleasant.
Of course, the modest woman will not crave for honour or
praise. Her attention will always be on the limits which she would
not transgress. Honour and praise come to her unasked and
unnoticed. The honey in the flower or lotus does not crave for
bees; they do not plead with the bees to come. Since they have
tasted the sweetness, they themselves search for the flowers and
rush in. They come because of the attachment between themselves
and sweetness. So, too, is the relationship between the woman who
knows the limits and the respect she evokes.
If a frog sits on a lotus and proclaims that fact to the world,
does it mean that it knows the value of the beauty or the
sweetness of that flower? Has it tasted any of these? It may
flatter the lotus but, has it at least recognised what it
contains? The honour and respect given to woman today is of this
type, rendered by people who do not know what to appreciate and
how. They do not know the standards of judgement, they have no
faith in the ultimate values, they do not respect the really good
and great; how can we call the thing they offer as "honour" or
"respect"? It can only be called "a disease" or at best,
"etiquette", that is all.
The principles of Atmadharma will not allow the term "woman" to
be applied to "a woman without modesty". If respect and honour are
heaped upon a person who does not follow Atmadharma, it is like
heaping decorations on a body that has no life in it. The soul
that has left the body cannot enjoy the respect shown to the
corpse. So too, if a person who is unaware of the Reality, who has
not experienced the purpose of the Atma's embodiment, is crowned
with fame and glory, who derives joy therefrom?
The modest woman will not care for such meaning-less trash and
tinsel; she will rather seek self-respect, which is much more
satisfying. That is the characteristic which makes her the Lakshmi
of the Home. That is why the wife is referred to as Grihalakshmi.
If the wife has no such mark the home becomes an abode of
ugliness.
The woman is the prop of the home and of religion. She plants
and fosters religious faith or dries up and up-roots it. Women
have natural aptitude for faith and spiritual endeavour. Women
with devotion, faith, and meekness can lead men on the Godward
path and the practice of holy virtues. They will get up early,
before dawn, clean the home and after finishing bath etc., sit for
a while engaged in Japam and Dhyanam. They will have in their
homes one small room set apart for the worship of the Lord. They
will place their images of the Lord as well as pictures of holy
sages and of gurus and guides. They will consider the room
specially sacred and fill the atmosphere with their prayers both
morning and evening, as well as on holy days and festivals. A
woman who is steadfastly doing these will be able to transmute
even her atheist husband, persuading him to join the prayers or
engage in some good activity or some scheme of social service
marked by the attitude of Dedication to the Lord. Indeed, it is
the woman who maintains the home; that is her mission. She is
truly the representative of Sakthi.
On the other hand, if the wife tries to pull the husband away
from the Godward path, from the spiritual to the level of the
sensual, or if the husband treats the wife who is disposed to seek
joy from her spiritual endeavour as a person following the wrong
track and tries to drag her away from it, the home of such a
couple is unworthy of that name; it is not a home; it is inferno,
where ghosts and evil spirits revel.
Really, woman should strive to achieve the knowledge of the
Soul and live every moment in the consciousness of her being only
the Atman; she must evince always a desire to become one with the
Divine Consciousness. The home where the woman is such and where
the husband and wife are leading their lives in the shade of great
ideals, where they together sing the glory of the Name of the Lord
and spend themselves in good deeds, where there reigns Truth,
Peace and Love, where regular reading is done of holy books, where
the senses are under control and where there is equal treatment
for all creation prompted by the knowledge of the basic unity of
all creation, such a Home is certainly Heaven on Earth.
A wife with such a nature is a wife worth the name. She must
have real love towards the husband, then only can she be called
housewife or Grihini. Then only is she Dharmapathni, the Bhaarya,
the Instrument and Companion for Dharma, Artha and Kama. She who
knows the mind of the husband and speaks soft and sweet, is the
real friend. Why, sometimes, when the wife has to point out the
path of Dharma to the husband, she takes on the role even of a
Father! When the husband is down with illness she is the Mother.
Woman must accord first place to the service of her husband;
that is True Worship, for her. Her prayers and worship and puja
can wait. Without serving the husband she cannot attain Bliss in
worship or meditation.
As a matter of fact, the Lord must be welcomed as represented
by the husband and all service rendered to him must be elevated to
the level of worship; that is the path of genuine duty. If every
act is done as if it is for the sake of the Atma and its merger
with Paramathma, then activity becomes dedicated to the Lord. All
such acts save; they do not bind.
It does not matter, how bad or low the husband is, the wife
must, through love, bring him round and correct him, and help him
gain the blessings of the Lord. It is not correct to feel that her
progress alone matters and she has no concern in his improvement
or uplift. She must feel, on the other hand, that the welfare of
the husband, the joy of the husband, the wishes of the husband,
the salvation of the husband, these are the panacea for her also.
Such a woman will receive the Grace of the Lord automatically,
without special effort; it will be showered upon her; the Lord
will always be by her side and be kind to her in all ways. By her
virtue, she will ensure the salvation of her husband.