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Anil Kumar's Sunday Satsang at
Prasanthi Nilayam
December 7, 2003
The Sunday Talk Given by Anil Kumar
“Now or Never”
December 7th, 2003
OM… OM… OM…
Sai Ram
With Pranams at the Lotus Feet of Bhagavan,
Dear Brothers and Sisters,
Christmas SEASON
I welcome to you all to this morning’s study circle class. We hear
from all corners of the world that the Christmas season has
already started. Preparations are underway to ensure the excellent
celebration of the Christmas event. During this week’s session and
those remaining before Christmas, let us think along the lines of
the Master, about the role of the Master in our lives. Jesus is a
Master. Ramakrishna Paramahamsa is a Master. Ramana Maharshi is a
Master. Bhagavan Baba is the Divine Master.
Certain things require Immediate Attention
This morning’s topic is “Now or Never”. We can afford to postpone
certain things. If I have a fever, I can have a tablet, a capsule,
or syrup and consult a doctor in the evening. It does not matter.
For a headache even, to the extent I can bear it, it is okay. But
certain diseases require immediate attention and an immediate
treatment. Take for example appendicitis. It requires immediate
surgical treatment, failing which the patient collapses. Therefore
certain things in life need immediate attention. We cannot afford
to postpone them. We cannot afford to live in hope. We cannot
afford to let them drag on.
So when I say “Now or Never”, I mean that we should know the use,
the importance and the significance of all that is happening now.
What is happening now? Where does its value lie? Why should I not
think of tomorrow? Why not think of the year 2010, by which time
when it arrives, I will be ready. No! When you are ready, things
may not be at your doorstep. A chance lost is lost forever and
ever. An opportunity given up may not come again. This moment, the
present, is most valuable. Why?
I read the scriptures. I read the epics to have glimpses of
Divinity. When I read Ramayana, I imagine Ramachandra. I start
thinking of Him, whom I never met before. It is all mental,
pictorial imagination. If I read the Bhagavatham, naturally I
think of Lord Krishna. It is the manifestation of the expression
of my imagination. I do not think the pictures drawn by other
people are a reality either. Each one goes on imagining in his own
way. Each one depicts as per his own level of understanding, as
per his own apprehension, as per his own conception.
So, no two minds are alike. No two minds think in the same
direction. The way I look at it is different from the way you look
at it. Therefore, my imagination of Krishna and my thoughts on
Krishna are based on my own mental level of understanding. My
understanding of Jesus Christ is based on the Holy Scripture, and
also on the sermons that I heard every Sunday in church. The
pastor speaks to me every Sunday, full-throated, from the pulpit.
That helps me to have an idea of Jesus’ love and of Jesus’
sacrifice. It is true with every religion. Guru Grantha, Koran, or
Dharmapada are valuable scriptures, which will help us to have
some idea of the great prophets and the great Incarnations of the
past.
Now the moment is unique
But now, this moment is unique. This moment is very special. This
moment is most valuable. I think I am clear. We are contemporaries
of the Avatar. We breathe the same air. We tread along the same
path. We move on the same plane. We have an opportunity to
communicate with Him. We have the opportunity to see Him as many
times as possible, for as long as it is possible. Therefore, to
have a rapport with the Avatar of our times, to be in the Divine
presence of the Avatar, to have been privileged to listen to His
message directly, is the most valuable thing in this lifetime.
By “Now or Never” I mean, if the value is not realised now, it
will never be realised. You cannot meet Jesus now. You cannot meet
Buddha now. You cannot walk hand-in-hand with Rama now. You cannot
converse with Krishna directly in public. But you are able to
communicate with, you are able to see, you are able to experience,
and you are able to move hand-in-hand, day-in and day-out, with
the Avatar of today.
INVALUABLE EXPERIENCE
How shall I calculate its value? In terms of dollars, pounds or
rupees? The living experience with the Avatar is invisible, most
invaluable, and indefinable. Are we really conscious of the fact
that we are in the midst of a living Avatar? Are we conscious of
the fact that we are here, with the Avatar, who is giving and
forgiving?
To be with Him, as His contemporary, is not given to everybody.
Let us not repeat the mistake of some of the devotees of
illustrious Incarnations in the past. Some of the devotees
repented, regretted, and cried out loudly, for not having been
more intimate while they were privileged to be in the physical
proximity. When once this physical proximity is denied, when once
this physical proximity has been cut off, there is no point in
shedding tears. There is no point in feeling that, ‘I could have
had more of Divinity had I been little more careful.’ Life should
not be one of regrets. Life should not be one of repentance.
God is here Now
Therefore my friends, as we step into this holy period of the
Christmas season, let us know that God is here now. God is here
now, in the form of the Divine Master. Divinity as an Incarnation
is only the manifestation of the essence of the Divine. The
essence of the Divine is omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent.
They are all the expressions, the qualities and the traits of the
Divine.
Whilst displaying those qualities, the Divinity moves amongst us
sharing ideas, teaching, consoling, soothing, commanding,
cajoling, joking, singing, or dining. This is the role of the
Divine Master. We are in the company of the Divine Master. We are
the contemporaries of the Divine Master. And if we know that, we
are really very lucky. If we experience that, we are blessed
people. If we continue to live in the same experience, we are most
fortunate. What could be a greater benediction than to be
experiencing this? What could be a greater blessing than to think
of Him this way?
“Now or Never”: If we do not realise it now, I am more than sure
that we will never realise it. In fact, the method of the Avatar
is more complex than any technology. We may be successful in
trying to understand the technology related to science, technology
being the application of science. Through hard work and industry,
I may understand that technology. But the ways of the Avatar, the
ways of the Divine Master, are not so easily understood.
Direct contact with God
Each person interprets in his own way. I interpret the Ramayana in
my own way. You interpret the Ramayana in your own way. That is
why we have many interpretations of the Ramayana. You interpret
the Gita in your own style. You understand the Gita in your own
way. There are so many interpretations and commentaries on the
Gita.
We don’t have to depend on commentaries and interpretations,
because we are in the company of the talking God, the moving God,
the loving God, and the living God. We don’t have to rely on
anybody. We don’t have to go through the books. We don’t have to
base our observations on interpretations. No. We have direct
contact.
When there are direct flights, you prefer to travel by them. You
don’t wish to alight at different places, and wait for a prolonged
period of time to catch the next flight, do you? You don’t. So
living with God, living in the company of the Divine Master, is a
direct flight to the destination, by which you can save time -- a
straight flight. We should not ignore this fact.
Understanding God’s Words
The words of an Avatar convey a hidden meaning, which I cannot
understand straightaway. The mind is capable of playing a
mischievous game. Mind distorts. Mind deviates. Mind diverts.
Distortion and deviation are the qualities of the mind. Therefore
to say, “I know Baba is speaking to me,” “I heard Swami speaking
to me,” “I know what He meant,” are nonsensical utterances. Only a
dunce would say that.
We cannot understand God’s words straightaway because there is a
hidden secret. Unless you have got vision, unless you have an open
third eye, the wisdom eye, it is not possible to get on to the
same wavelength as that of the Divine Master.
Let me give you one simple example: A Master has a number of
devotees, who follow him scrupulously, who are highly obedient to
him, who are very loyal to him. Suddenly this Master looks at a
disciple and tells him, “Young man, be here for four to six weeks
more. Something may happen to you.”
“Oh, if I am going to be here for four to six weeks, something
more is going to happen to me. Yes, that is the sole purpose of my
visit. I came all the way from France. I am spending my time in
the company of this Divine Master, who is promising now that I
will have an experience if I stay here for four to six weeks more.
Nice.”
So this man counts the days: first week over, second week over.
From the third week, tension starts mounting up: “What is it that
is going to happen? What is this that I am going to get? What is
the promise that guru made? Will anything happen at all? If
nothing happens, what will happen as a result of four to six weeks
of extra stay here? I may lose my job. I may lose my money. It may
cost me heavily if the promise is denied.”
There is tension, worry, and anxiety. But something may happen. A
streak of hope lurks in his mind. So during the four to six weeks
of extra time that he was asked to stay in the presence of the
Divine Master, he goes on like this, in worry, anxiety, tension,
expectation, demanding and challenging.
The guru understands the situation of such a fellow. He calls him
one day and tells him, “Look here, if you really want to go,
please go. Don’t feel guilty for not obeying my words, if you
actually want to go. Don’t feel guilty if you want to go. Feel
free. Don’t have any feeling of guilt at all.”
“Oh! He’s given the green signal. Fine.” No more tension, no more
worry. Then that man came out and raised his hand to everybody
saying, “I am going because I have the permission of the guru to
go.” And he leaves to go back to his country, to France.
Then this guru starts talking to the other people, “Look here. See
how you understand me.”
I am giving this example to remind ourselves that the words of the
Divine Master are mysterious, sometimes not understandable,
inexplicable. We may have to read between the lines. And at times
we may miss the correct meaning altogether. It is for that purpose
I am giving this example.
And this Master starts talking to other disciples: “Here is a
follower, whom I asked to be here for four to six weeks more,
leaving me now. Did I ever ask him to go? No. Did I say that he
should not follow my advice? No. All I said was, ‘If you want to
go, you are free to go. Don’t feel guilty for not following my
advice.’ That’s all I said. I never wanted him to go. I never
asked him not to follow my advice. It is his decision. And he
interpreted my words in accordance with his convenience.”
‘In accordance with his convenience’ was because the mind is the
centre of management. Mind is the nucleus of manipulation and
mismanagement. It is the mind that creates a hell or a heaven, as
the case may be. Our mind starts interpreting Baba’s words in its
own way, in a whimsical way, even though the mind is a useless
instrument for the purpose. Useless instrument! I cannot make use
of a thermometer to know the weight of my body. I cannot make use
of the weighing machine to know the temperature of my body. No
madcap would ever do it. Similarly, the mind is a very poor,
useless instrument, which is unfit to know the words of the Divine
Master.
Because we have got used to this mind stuff, we understand in our
way, in our own style. We spoil other minds also. We call our own
selves ‘mini-gurus’. In our own humble way, we get lost, missing
the very meaning, the depth and the intensity of the meaning of
the Divine Master.
Here is the Divine Master, who tells everybody that, ”Here is a
person who leaves me, though I never asked him to go. I never
asked him not to follow me. He missed out. Something was really
going to happen in his life had he stayed here. He has been
waiting for enlightenment. He has been waiting for awakening. I
wanted him to be alert for that moment.”
Another example: We are waiting there in the railway platform for
the train to arrive. If I leave the railway station just before
the train arrives at the platform, I miss the train altogether.
There is a parable in the holy Bible. Some of the ladies were
asked to wait to receive the bridegroom. They were all awake then.
But at the time of the arrival of the bridegroom, they were all
found sleeping.
The same thing is happening in our lives. We are inert; we are
down; we are passive; we are fast asleep at the important moment.
Why am I telling you, my friends? May this Christmas season help
us to awaken, help us to be alert, to be aware of the preciousness
of the moment. If that is not done now, it can never be done. That
is the subject here, “Now or Never”.
So something was to happen, and now this Guru is telling his
disciples, “Boys, that boy left this place. He interpreted my
words as per his own style, as per his own convenience, as per his
own whimsical fantasies or fancies of his mind, and he missed
something very valuable. And this very missing is the punishment.”
The Divine Master doesn’t have to beat you. The Divine Master
doesn’t have to scold you. He doesn’t have to whip anybody. When
that golden moment is missed, in that very missing of it, there is
the punishment.
“Swami, shall I go?” Swami remains silent.
“Swami, shall I go?”
“Oh yes, yes, you can do your work.”
“Swami, shall I go?”
“Your wish.”
‘Now, if I really want to go, what meaning shall I take? Swami
said, “You go.” Fine. Return tickets are ready. If I am very busy,
fully occupied with my business, what interpretation do I take?
“Swami says, ‘Do your duty’, so I am going.” See that. It’s all
the gimmicks of the mind. Therefore my friends, the Divine
Master’s words are not that easily understood.
How To Understand the words of the Divine Master
We have to struggle. We have to pray. We have to pine. We have to
yearn. We have to meditate. By the process of meditation, by
contemplation, we understand better the Divine words of the
Master, not simply by hearing them. We have to listen to Him,
rather than simply hear Him. If we simply hear Him, we may be
negligent. If we simply hear Him, we may misinterpret. When we
hear Him, we may take it as an act of chance. When we hear Him, we
may take it as an accident.
But when we listen to Him, we will be serious; we will be
conscious; we will be very purposeful. It is going to be very
meaningful. The benefit of the communication from the Divine
Master, from His verbal teaching, is to be received now or never.
If I am not the beneficiary of the Divine Master’s teachings now,
it will never happen in the future.
If you have rapport with a living Master, if you are connected to
Him in a dynamic way, He will continue to be your living Master,
forever and ever. He may be near you or not. He may be in the
physical frame or not. The Divine Master, the living Master, will
continue to be your Master forever and ever, provided you get
connected to Him. If you are not connected to Him, it doesn’t
matter if you are here or elsewhere. Being totally unaware of the
diamond available, of the gold available, you run around after the
rubbish.
Therefore my friends, the living Master’s picture is enough. The
thought of the living Master is enough. Some conversations about
the living Master are enough to trick your mind, to change the
gear, to take off into the unknown world.
Listen to the Master with your Heart
We have to hear the Divine Master not with our head, but with our
heart. The heart should hear, because it is the heart that
registers. It is the heart that does not question. It is the heart
that does not waver. It is the heart that does not doubt. It is
the heart that is not ambiguous. It is the heart that is not dual.
So, listening to the Master with our heart is the most essential
thing. If I hear with my mind, I start interpreting. When I start
interpreting, the original meaning is gone. The original thought
is gone. Let us not interpret Baba.
There is no need for interpretation, because we are in His midst.
We are right in front of Him. Interpretation takes you towards
delusion. It takes you to the mistaken view, along totally the
wrong path. In fact, the words that we hear from Bhagavan have to
carefully heard.
There are many occasions when I have been scolded, chided by
Bhagavan for not listening to Him carefully while translating His
discourses. Suddenly I anticipate what He is going to say, and I
start speaking.
He says, “Keep quiet,” because He is going to say something else.
“You take things for granted. You think this is what I am going to
say. No, what I am going to say is altogether different. Stop
there.”
It only means the mind is so sharp, it refuses to be silent. It is
like a mischievous child. You cannot stop the child from making
mischief. The mind is like a monkey. That is why Swami says, “Mind
is a mad monkey. The body is a water bubble.” This mad monkey, the
mind, will not allow you to be silent.
Well, my friends, how am I to know that I am in the presence of a
Divine Master? How am I to know? How do I know that the Divine
Master is before me? How do I know that I received His blessings?
Please be convinced of one important statement. Please be
convinced of it. Not even one letter should be omitted from His
declaration. What did He say?
“No one can come here unless I will.”
In the second statement, He says:
“I have chosen you.”
This is not a human election, where we go by the electoral
college. In the election booth, rigging may occur. This is not an
election or a contest. This is Divine choice. This is Divine
selection. And if this is not realized now, it can never be known
later.
Divine Message has to be lived
So, listening to the Divine Master with our heart is a technique.
The Master’s voice, the Master’s message, is to be lived and not
simply shared. The message has to be lived. Your experience is
going to prove the quality of the Truth of the Divine message. The
Truth of the Divine message is going to be proved by your life,
not by simply sharing, not simply caring, not simply chattering,
not simply interpreting.
Moreover, the Divine Master is going to take us to certain unknown
destinations, to certain places beyond our awareness. We have got
to be prepared. Am I ready? I am ready to go to a known place. I
know certain places are very interesting, full of entertainment,
full of music. Yes, I know. Therefore I am prepared to go to the
known places.
But in spirituality, where are we to land? Where are we going?
Where will we be? That’s all unknown. That’s why that unknown
destination, that unknown experience, that unknown charter,
creates a sense of fear in our minds.
“Meditate? No, I am afraid to meditate. Why? If I close my eyes, I
am gone. My ego is gone. I want to exist as myself. I want to
exist in my identifications. I want to exist with I-ness, with my
own identity. I don’t want to get lost at any cost. When I close
my eyes, when I am gone, when I am lost, there arises a sense of
insecurity, a feeling of fear.”
God talks to you in Silence
In the presence of the Divine Master, sometimes fear arises. Why?
Some people tell me, “Mr. Anil Kumar, when Swami talks to me,
somehow I feel fear. Why?” Some people come and tell me. “When
Swami stands in front of me, words fail me. I cannot converse with
Him. Why?”
I tell them, “You are a worthy spiritual aspirant.”
There is an English proverb that says, “Fools rush in, where
angels fear to tread.” Fools may begin to talk in front of Swami,
but we have not come here to talk. We have come here to listen to
Him. Let the Divine Master talk to me. Let the Divine Master open
His mouth, and pour into my ears the Divine nectar of His message.
So, the Divine Master requires silence, not noise. We have heard
enough noise. We are in the midst of noise. We are sufficiently
noisy, because whilst we are awake, we talk non-stop. Even while
we sleep, we talk continuously. We dream of the same people whom
we encounter during the day. We converse with everybody even while
sleeping, in dreams. There is no experience of silence.
The Divine Master can be known, can be experienced, only in the
depth of silence. By ‘the depth of silence’, I mean the
thoughtless (thought-free) state. Silence does not mean refraining
from speech or keeping the lips tied. The mind may still be noisy
then. The only way to establish a contact and a rapport with the
Divine Master is in mental silence.
God talks and talks so that you don’t need to be talked to
anymore. There are some people who say, “Sir, Swami is not talking
to me outwardly, yet I am not disappointed. Swami is not speaking
to me, yet I am not frustrated. Why? He talks to me from within. I
hear Him from within. The outer talk is only physical; the outer
talk is only verbal. The outer talk is simply vocal, physical,
momentary, temporary, accidental, and coincidental. But the inner
talk is always available to me.”
There are many people who tell me, “Swami said this, and Swami
said that.” Well, He has never talked to me like that. I have
never heard Him from within. I have never cared to hear Him from
within. I always wanted to hear Him from the outside. I always
lend my ears to hear what He says outside. I do not close my eyes;
I do not close my ears; I have not gone inward. I have not gone
deeply within, achieving a thought-free state, so that He would
start speaking to me from within.
Bhagavan said, “God walks silently.” As He walks silently, the
sound of His footsteps may not be heard if you go on talking. If
you go on talking and talking, you may not be able to hear the
sound of the footsteps of God. To hear the sounds of the footsteps
of God, let there be silence. Let there be silence, so that I can
hear Him coming to me, so that I can hear Him speaking to me, so
that I can hear Him communing with me.
Communication requires two people. I can communicate and you can
communicate in turn. But God does not communicate. He communes. It
is a holy communion, not a communication. God communes with you
silently, uni-directionally, confidently, when you are silent.
My friends, just as the form of God will take us to the formless
Divinity, so the attributes of God should take us to the
attributeless state of Divinity. The words of God should make us
silent. The physical words of God should help us to evolve to a
state where we can listen to Him from within. I think I expressed
myself properly.
Experience the Divine within
This is a journey with the Divine Master, and it is a different
technique altogether. You stay at home and at darshan time, most
unfortunately, you are not aware of the time. You are still lying
in bed. Suddenly you get a call from within: “Time to get up! Get
up! Time for darshan. Get up, get up.”
Who is He? Where is He? Why should He tell you like that? I can
give you umpteen examples in this direction: One time an eye camp
was to be started at one place. The convener was fast asleep that
night. He had to leave by the first bus the next morning. Being
very tired, he slept soundly. At 3:30 AM, he heard, “Get up, get
up! First bus leaves at 4:30. Have you forgotten that today is the
eye camp? Have you forgotten that you are the convener?”
When the convener does not attend the camp, he is more a political
man. Political people don’t attend. They don’t keep their
promises. They claim the credit and throw away the discredit. But
here, the convener is very much there, working in the field. Swami
tells him, “Wake up, get up! In an hour’s time, the first bus will
be leaving. Today is the eye camp to be conducted in that place,
remember? “
What is that voice? Where is it from? Why should it speak like
that? How is it that I don’t get that direction? Why? Is he a
greater person? Is he more spiritual than you or I? Why he alone
gets this? It is simply because of the thought-free state. It is
simply because that I-ness or ego is totally withdrawn, totally
gone. In that stillness, one can hear the inner voice. The inner
voice is heard in stillness, in extreme calmness and serenity.
Therefore, my friends, the Divine Master who is outside will make
you experience the Divine Master who is within. The outer Divine
Master will make you experience the Divine Master within. If I go
by the Divine Master whom I see moving around, walking around, I
am reducing Divinity to the limitations of time, space, geography,
Name and form. But the Divine is beyond Name, form and geography.
He is timeless. It is impossible to experience this unless I try
to see Him from within.
To see Him from within is what we call Sakshatkara, or enjoying
the Divine manifestation. To experience God from within is
Sakshatkara, meaning the manifestation within. Internalise and
actualise the outer manifestation into the inner reality. That is
the true realisation, Sakshatkara, the manifestation of the outer
Divinity within.
Bhagavan’s talks, Bhagavan’s messages, Bhagavan’s jokes, the sweet
words, the beautiful face and the mischievous smile should all
help to bring Him within. Then one hears the inner voice. The
inner voice is that which is heard from within. Manifestation
occurs when the One is seen within. If it’s only outer, it is
equally mundane. If it’s only outer, it’s equally worldly.
Therefore it is “Now or Never”. If we don’t experience it now, we
will never experience it. If we do not know the value, we will
never realise its value. If we are not benefited now, we can never
be benefited.
Why DOES Swami speak on Love repeatedly?
Somebody asked Bhagavan, “Swami You speak on Love repeatedly.
Prema Mudhitha Manase Kaho, Rama Rama Ram. Every message of Yours,
every sentence, certainly refers to this Love. Why? Why do You
speak of Love repeatedly? Do You think I am dull-headed? Do You
think I cannot catch on if You tell me only once? You talk to me
repeatedly, again and again, publicly, in person, privately in the
interview room and on the platform. Whatever be the occasion, it
is ‘Love, Love, Love.’ Why repeatedly? ”
The reason is simple. When Swami speaks on Love, it should help me
to search for the hatred within me. I am full of hatred within.
Swami’s theme on Love should help me discover the hate within. I
think I am clear. It is because there is no Love within us. If
Love is within us totally, He does not have to speak on Love
repeatedly.
This question was put to Bhagavan, “ Swami, why do You speak on
Love again and again?”
Swami said, “Because you are not loving. You only hear, that’s
all. You don’t love.”
We all say, “Swami spoke on Love. Good. His speech on Love is
excellent. His song on Love is so melodious.” We appreciate the
melody. We appreciate the poetry. We appreciate the words. We
appreciate the literature. We appreciate the sound. We appreciate
the music. Everything is related to Love, but we do not live the
Love. We don’t live Love. Therefore, to make us live Love, He
repeats the message of Love every time. He has to. He speaks on
Love also to make us know how we do so many things, how we play
games, all in the name of Love.
This is how we have to understand His message. It should not be,
it cannot be, and it is not going to be tiresome. It is not merely
a repetition. All that is heard is useless unless it is
experienced. All that is appreciated is all in vain unless it is
lived. It is all gone with the wind. One has to live it. One has
to experience it. It is for that purpose that the Divine Master is
in front of us. That is why I remind you once again of the
important theme of this morning, “Now or Never”.
If we don’t love now, we can never love later. If we don’t follow
the path of Truth, if we are not truthful, we will never know the
Truth later. If I have no idea of peace now, I can never be
peaceful later. It is “Now or Never”.
Spirituality has no definite pattern
It is a pathless land. It is an unknown land. Each one has got his
own inner search. It is not a definite pattern like in science.
Supposing in science, I say a splinter burns brilliantly in the
presence of oxygen. Good. You don’t have to prove it again
tomorrow. It need not be discovered, invented, or experimented
upon everyday. Scientific discoveries are made once and for all.
But spiritual experiences are to be sought after by everybody,
every moment of life.
Your experience is not going to be my experience. In science,
there is a definite pattern. The aim of the experiment, apparatus,
procedure, observation, inference, readings and calculations, is
to discover that pattern. Hari Om Tat Sat. That’s all that science
is about. These are the symptoms of this disease; that is
medicine. That is medical science. These are the requirements;
that is the plan. What engineering skill is required for spiritual
awakening? What medical treatment is to be given for spiritual
enlightenment? What technology is to be adopted for spiritual
unfoldment? There is no definite pattern. Each one has got his own
journey. One has to discover one’s own Self. One has to suffer.
One has to pass through the crucible of the painful process.
My friends, do not be mistaken if I tell you a bitter truth. A
scientific discovery will make you feel proud. A scientific
invention is an achievement. There is recognition. There is wide
applause. Newspapers will carry your photograph and name as well.
There will be applause and cheers all around. But in the spiritual
field, you remain anonymous. Nobody will know you. Nobody will
recognise you -- No applause, no cheers, no publicity. You are
just dropped like a hot potato.
Sometimes the spiritual path appears to be suicidal. At times it
appears to be highly painful, excruciatingly painful. Yes, it is.
Why is it painful? Unless the husk is removed, the grain cannot be
separated. Unless the chunks are cut off or removed, I cannot be
true to my Self. I think I am this body. I think I am how I look,
and how you see me. It is not like that. You have to lose your
identity with the body and the mind. It is a very painful process.
When I am asked to surrender my ego, it feels suicidal because the
ego, and the fostering of the ego, has been my life, my mission,
and the goal. Right from the beginning, parents have been telling
you to be special, to be unique, to be number one. Therefore, the
seedlings, the seeds of ego, have sprouted right from my
childhood. As I grow more and more, the teachers tell me, “You
should be special.” The society demands of me that I should be
extraordinary. But this separateness, this aloofness, is the cause
of misery.
I am one with the Whole
Once I know that I am one with the whole, it is bliss. When you
are one with the whole, it is bliss. When I am separate, it is
misery. When I am one with the whole, it is eternity. If I am a
separate identity, it is death. So when the ego, which I have been
developing all my life until this day, is to be dropped all of a
sudden, I experience great pain, sorrow, misery, and struggle.
But yet, unless I pass through that pain, I cannot evolve. I
cannot be free from body attachment. I cannot be free from my
mind. I must be true to the Self. And that true Self is the whole,
and not just a drop. It is not a fragment. It is not a piece. Let
me be very, very clear about that. The true Self is the cosmic
Self. The true Self is the universal Self. The true Self is
totality. That totality is the Divinity.
Therefore my friends, the Divine Master allows you to go through
the process of severe pain -- agonising, testing, challenging,
only to make you and me experience the totality, that wholeness,
that you are. Do not consider yourself a wave. No. You are the
ocean. Never think that you are the drop. You are the ocean.
Because the Master tells me that I am immortal, I am immortal.
That is the message of God. But my human experience is that I am a
poor mortal. My opinion is that I am a poor mortal. The Divine
teaching is that you are immortal. Why do I consider myself
mortal? I consider myself mortal because of the fear of death. But
the Divine Master tells me that I am deathless. Why am I
deathless? Because, in truth, I was never born. Oh, then why do I
have a birthday? It is just a celebration. Birth never happened
and so death cannot take place.
It is like a wave that arises out of the ocean. A wave comes and
goes back. Is the wave born? No. Has the wave died? Certainly not.
It is an appearance. The touch of the wind makes the ocean send
forth wave after wave, in sequence. Wave after wave is sent forth,
in sequence, because of the touch of the wind. They are neither
born, nor are they going to die.
That is why Bhagavan says, “Devotion is a deep ocean.” Out of this
ocean of devotion come forth so many waves, ripples of human
beings and creatures, which are temporary, just formed. The
identification with the still ocean should always be kept in view.
That is the message of the Divine Master.
I am feeling comfortable as a bubble, and happy as a wave, because
children play with me. I don’t want to know that I am the sea. In
the sea there is so much water. I can’t bear the thought that I am
one with the many, because I want to be special. I want to be
extraordinary. I want to be at least a V.I.P.…if possible, a
veranda V.I.P. (Laughter). V-VIP: first 'V' for veranda, second
'V' for VIP.
So my mind will not allow me to be a common man. My mind, my ego,
will not allow me to be ordinary. My mind, my ego, will not allow
me to be simple and humble. It is creating hell in my life. It is
at that time that the Divine Master says, ”You are not that ego.
Give up that ego.” I am not going to die, because I was never
born. It is only the ego that is born. It is only the ego that
dies.
So, in response to the Divine Master, when I come to know that I
am not the ego, that which dies, I will know that I am immortal. I
will know what immortality is, what deathlessness is, what
eternity is. If I cannot drop the fear now, I can never drop the
fear in future. If I cannot give up body attachment now, I can
never give it up later. If I cannot give up this identification
with the mind now, I cannot give it up in the future. If I cannot
hear His voice within, as the inner voice now, there is no point
in hearing Him for any length of time.
Swami speaks to his devotees
At this moment, I can tell you that it was Charles Penn who
recorded Swami’s messages, given to him everyday in the United
States, released by him in the form of a book. Charles Penn could
record Swami’s messages, which were given to him. Is that message
not available to us? Are we denied Divine messages? Are we so
dull? Are we so passive? Are we indifferent? Are we irrelevant?
Are we not responsive? Are we not receptive? Is my heart barren?
Is not my heart a fertile land? Why could only Charles Penn hear
Swami’s message, which provided enough material for one full
volume?
I can also show you a town about eight hours’ drive from here,
where Swami dictates the text of classical songs to a woman, and
teaches her the tunes also. She is the principal of the music
college. Her name is Meenakshi. She hails from Nandiala. She tells
me, “Sir, these are the songs. Yes, Swami told me.” A little
conversation with her will convince everyone that she is not
capable of writing that language. She is not a scholar. I cannot
expect that standard of composition from her. But she has composed
songs, and she says Swami has given the tunes, too.
Why does this not happen to me? Why does it not happen to you? We
feel like crying in helplessness. Why? I feel I can compose. I
feel I can give the proper tune to the songs. I feel that I can
understand, that I can interpret and that I can experience. So I
will never experience because this ‘I’ (ego) is still remaining.
When this ‘I’ is gone, then comes the real message of the Lord.
The real gospel, the real testament, the real message and the real
teaching can be lived in our daily lives only if the inner
development, only if inner progress, starts happening in our life.
It is “Now or Never”.
Thank you. We will continue the talks on the role of the Divine
Master, as this is the Christmas season. It is the time to know
the Divine Master, Lord Jesus Christ.
Thank you very much. (Applause)
Anil Kumar finished his talk by chanting the bhajan “Jaya Ho Jaya
Ho Gopalana”.
May Bhagavan bless you! Sai Ram.
OM… OM… M…
Asato Maa Sad Gamaya
Tamaso Maa Jyotir Gamaya
Mrtyormaa Amrtam Gamaya
Om Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu
Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu
Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu
Om Shanti Shanti Shanti
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