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Anil Kumar's Sunday Satsang at
Prasanthi Nilayam
September 16, 2001
The Sunday Talk Given by Anil Kumar
"Don’t Do - BE!"
September 16th, 2001
Dear Brothers and Sisters!
Encouraging Response
I'm very much thrilled, excited, and encouraged at seeing the
positive response of our Sai brothers and sisters, regarding my
two books. One book covers the talks I gave in Brindavan,
regarding the universal and practical teachings of Bhagavan Sri
Sathya Sai Baba. The second book is entitled "Divine Directions."
It covers the talks given in Prasanthi Nilayam. These two books
are used for intensive, in-depth study in Sai Centers all over the
world.
I'm very grateful to Bhagavan for this response. I will continue
to be committed to this sort of work in the years to come, being
given the chance as well as the strength, courage, conviction, and
help. I pray to Bhagavan from the bottom of my heart to continue
to bless me with this opportunity to share His message. It is so
endearing to me. It is the very breath of my life and the only
thing that keeps me alive. I belong to a missionary family, and I
consider myself a missionary. The most important thing to me is
spreading Sai’s message.
I have arranged a chalkboard so that I may communicate Bhagavan’s
teachings to you through it, like a typical classroom teacher. It
will be the fruition and success of my service if you appreciate
it. I will use this board to help communicate a better
understanding and emphasis as I see many of you taking notes. Some
may find it difficult to follow me because I speak so quickly. So
many people have conveyed their appreciation of this new kind of
approach.
Life is Full of 'Do’s' and 'Don’ts'
The topic for this morning is: "Don’t Do - BE".
Everywhere we come across people calling upon us to do something.
"If you want to have your desires fulfilled, do this." "If you
want Bhagavan Baba to stand in front of you or appear in your
dream, do this." "If you want to attain liberation or go to
paradise, do this." Life is full of rituals, prescriptions, and
'do’s' and 'don’ts'. Right from our childhood, we have been told
what to do and what not to do, but we were never taught what to be.
So we know what to do and what not to do, but we do not know what
it is 'to be'.
There are certain precautions and certain 'don’ts' in the field of
science and technology. We will end up in danger if we do what we
should not do in science experiments, let alone achieve positive
results out of these experiments. Even in the field of philosophy
and religion, we have 'do’s' and 'don’ts'. For example, the 'Ten
Commandments' ask us to help everybody. They tell us not to steal,
not to speak lies, and so on.
My friends, the subject I have chosen is - "Don’t do - but BE".
However, I will not tell you, "Do this and don’t do that." That is
something totally different. 'Doing' arises from the expectation
of getting something that I do not have right now. For example, I
want to get a degree. Therefore, I study. I want to achieve a
result. Therefore, I do an experiment. I want to earn money.
Therefore, I do business. So 'doing' is a process of acting in
which we anticipate and expect to gain or achieve our goal through
that effort, to gain something that we do not have at this time.
Therefore, we are motivated to do some activity in order to
accomplish our end. I think I'm clear.
Spirituality Is Not Result-Oriented
However, spirituality is neither anticipation nor expectation. It
is not a result or a goal or a destination. Let us be very clear
about this. All worldly endeavors, pursuits, and tasks are
goal-oriented, need-based, economy-based, and/or result-based. But
spirituality is never result-oriented. It has no goal or
destination. It is a pathless land. Therefore, one is advised, "Don’t
do anything. Just BE! That’s all." Hence, the title of this
morning's talk - "Don't Do".
It may look rather funny to you. You may be thinking, 'How can
this man say 'don’t do'?' Why do I say that? It is because
everything that we do has been leading to further confusion.
Somebody may tell me, "Repeat ‘Sai Ram’ 1,116 times." Even after
repeating it 1,116 times, my worries double! (Laughter) Somebody
may come and tell me, "Go around Ganesha temple nine times in the
morning and nine times in the evening." The next day my problems
multiply! Another person may tell me, "Go to Gayathri (a statue of
the Goddess Gayathri in Prashanti Nilayam). Go there ten times and
offer some flowers. You’ll have business with full profit!"
Instead of that, I meet with further losses! Whatever I have been
doing has not solved my problem. So what can I do right this time?
My friends, doing is an endless process - a process of
multiplication of expectations. Doing is a process, which
anticipates positive results. Nobody goes around Ganesha to lose
money! (Laughter) No one goes to Gayathri, wishing to die the next
day! However, spirituality is not that. Spirituality is a
preparation to accept what is given to you, whether it is positive
or negative. If anything happens positively, I'm grateful to God.
If anything happens negatively, I'm thankful to God for teaching
me a good lesson. Whatever happens is a lesson to learn and a
training ground for evolution to a higher state.
Therefore, spirituality calls for not doing anything. This does
not mean laziness, sleep, or slumber, like a dead log of wood. It
is not that. It means that it is not a question of doing something
or 'becoming' something. It is a question of 'being'. Be unto your
Self. All doing is performed for becoming. 'Non-doing' is 'to be'.
It is for 'being'. To be (or reside) in the being, to be in your
Self, is 'non-doing'.
Here is a simple example. If I want to become a collector (like a
mayor over a district or county), a doctor, or an engineer, I
should study, write the test finals, appear for interview
preliminaries, and then get selected. It is a long process of
doing. On the other hand, I don’t have to do anything to become
Anil Kumar because I'm already Anil Kumar! I think I'm clear. I'm
being Anil Kumar and not becoming Anil Kumar.
Spirituality is the study and experience of 'being' and not of 'becoming'.
'Doing' comes into the picture only when it is a process of 'becoming'.
When you are in 'being', you are in 'non-doing'.
Life is Full of Desires
Here are a few points. Life is full of desires. Only it is the
number of them that varies! Some people have two desires, others
have many, and still others have one single desire that covers all
the rest of the desires! (Laughter) The one is wholesale and the
other is retail! Some people have beautiful business tactics. With
one desire, they will have a thousand desires fulfilled!
I'm reminded of a story where one gentleman prayed to God for the
fulfillment of only one desire. He had put a ceiling on his
desires, being a very good devotee and a spiritual aspirant. He
was pretty old, with one foot in the grave. He never got married
because no one was prepared to marry him! Hence, celibacy was
enforced, but not by choice! (Laughter) He was a bachelor, very
poor, and ready to die. God appeared to him and asked, "What do
you want?" The man said, "Oh God! Thank You! I'm not going to
bother You with many desires. I have only one desire. I want to be
an emperor with a grandson!" (Laughter) This fellow was very old.
First, he should be young to have a son and then a grandson! Also,
to be an emperor, he should be rich! This is a wholesale deal! (Laughter)
So my friends, such a life is full of infinite desires. You may
call desires 'goals' or 'ideals'. But even lofty or noble ideals
and higher goals are also still desires. Some people say, "Oh God,
I don’t have any desire. This is my last desire!" If that is so,
it is mental suicide. Desires will never die down. They don’t come
to a total halt at any period of time. They persist in multiplying
till the last breath! If anyone says, "I have no desires," he is
full of desires. Beware of such bogus hypocrites! Life is a bundle
of desires!
Desire after desire goes on multiplying. Goals are also
multiplying like that. The Bhagavad Gita says, "Even to pray for
liberation is also a desire." The title of the last chapter of
Bhagavad Gita is ‘Moksha Sanyasa Yoga." It means, as a spiritual
practice, give up even the desire for liberation. Therefore, now
tell me of a person who is desireless?
Desires Make the Image of Ourselves
So my friends, life is full of goals and ideals, which are really
our desires. My personality and image is made up of my desires,
ambitions, aspirations, ideals, goals, and perspectives. Here is a
simple example: If anyone stops me from going into the gates for
afternoon darshan, my ego is affected. I will think, 'Why does
this man stop me? I have been coming to Prashanti Nilayam since so
long! Does he not know that I'm a VIP! (Very Insignificant Person!)
(Laughter) Does he not know that I'm a Very Important Person? How
dare he stop me! Let me take off his scarf and badge!' It is only
our ego that is affected.
Why? You think that you’re very important, known to everybody, and
very necessary here. You think that you’re very popular and have
contributed to the mission of Sai. You have built up this false
image and personality on your own. I make an image of myself. Then
what happens? When that image is affected in public, my ego is
hurt and I feel humiliated, ashamed, and insulted. Very good! I
invite damage because of the personality that I have built within
myself, all alone and all along. The point is that desires, goals,
and ideals make an image of one’s own self.
Here is another simple example: I want to drink coconut water. Now,
the false image I have built of myself says, 'If I go there,
people may see me drinking coconut water. No, no! Coconut water
should come to me. I should not have to go over there.' (Laughter)
What about my prestige of being a very, very significant person, a
VIP? I want to eat some sweets in the canteen. If I stand in the
queue waiting for a coupon, someone may think, 'Oh! What is this?
Anil Kumar also is standing in the queue? Can't he manage to jump
the line or break through the wall?' Why should I go to the
canteen? I should ask somebody to get sweets for me. Why? Sweets
should come to me! I should not go to sweets!
Left alone, I overestimate myself. Yet other times, I don’t match
my own image or personality. I want to be free, but the image that
I have built will not allow me to be free. I want to talk to
everybody, but the false image that I have built around myself
will keep me at a distance. I am considered very important, so I
can't talk to everybody. Be a 'stiff-neck'! (Look as if you have
got something wrong here in the neck!) (Laughter) A man who cannot
communicate freely with everybody is psychologically sick, please
take it from me. A man who cannot smile is almost dead and done! (Laughter)
That’s what I believe.
So the point is this: I want to talk to people freely, but my own
image will not allow this as I am considered to be very important.
I want to visit everybody’s house, but my image will not permit me
to do this. Therefore, I start condemning myself. The image that I
have built up leads to the condemnation of my own self! What a
fool I am! I have kept myself away from simple things. I have
locked myself up from my friends. I have been living in a 'cell'
of simple house arrest or imprisonment.
I have lost the capacity to communicate with others, and I have
distanced myself from everybody because of this so-called
intellectual title which I created for myself. This position has
cut off all my freedom and all links with the common people. Next,
I condemn myself, "Alas! I'm in bondage!" When others hurt this
self-image, it leads to a sense of shame and self-condemnation.
The result is that I condemn myself, telling myself that I'm not
free and not able to move with everybody. Condemnation is
completely negative, I tell you.
Condemnation of Ourselves Leads to Obsessions
Condemnation leads to obsession. Everything becomes an obsession.
Here is a simple example. Some people say, "I don’t eat much." Oh!
The world is not profited just because you don’t eat! Others say,
"I fast twice a week." You may fast for as many days as possible
because you’ll be saving food for some other person. However, your
fast has got nothing to do with spirituality.
Some people say, "I am awake till 12 o’clock in the night,
repeating Sai Manthra." All right, apply for an advertised
watchman’s post! (Laughter) Keeping vigil throughout the night is
not a sign of spirituality. Eating or not eating has nothing to do
with religion. If one says, "I don’t eat food," there is another
man who says, "I eat food." The obsession of food is a common
point for both of them. One person says, "I don’t sleep." Another
person says, "I always sleep." Sleep is an obsession for both.
Never torture your body. Let us learn to respect life. Sacrificing
food, sleep, and the body is what you call self-torture. Some
people are happy when torturing others and others are happy when
torturing themselves! Torture is not religion and it should never
be the philosophy of life. Philosophy is bliss and religion is joy.
Life is a dance, laughter, and ecstasy. It should not be a
torture, burden, or punishment.
What happens when you become obsessed with things like food and
sleep? You experience disillusionment. If somebody asks you, "How
are you?" You will answer, "What nonsense! You asked me to read
"Sai Charitra" ("The Story of Sai") five times. Though I did this,
my situation further deteriorated! You wanted me to do daily puja.
Even though I did so, my son successfully failed in the
examination!" (Laughter)
So I become disillusioned. "Please show me the place where I'm
profited. Please show me a person who will give me positive
results." This kind of shifting and changing the loyalty, moving
from place to place, happens because of disillusionment. There are
many people who say, "I have been coming here for the last twenty
years. What has happened to me?" What should happen? You’re alive!
That is good! (Laughter) Of course, you may be the cause for the
death of others; that is a different thing. (Laughter) There are
some people who are alive, who are responsible for the death of
others. Their thinking is: "Life is for me, that’s all." Well,
with that attitude, what is it that you are going to get now?
Obsession is nothing but repression and suppression. This leads to
depression, frustration, and disillusionment. Finally, it
expresses itself as self-torture. I think I'm clear. Life should
be fulfilled, not simply filled. Fulfillment is life, not simply
filling life, with desires, objects, commodities, position, power,
pelf, name, and fame. Not just filling the life, but fulfilling
the life is much more important.
So my friends, before I wind up, don’t 'do' because, if you start
doing, you’ll be full of desires. Desires are nothing but goals
and ideals, which will make a personality, an imaginary image, of
you. You will then be hurt in society and condemn yourself within.
Several obsessions with food, sleep, and so on, will lead to
disillusionment or frustration, which is self-torture.
In the end, we may please note that life is fulfillment - not
filling up with position, wealth, power, name, and fame. In 'doing'
are all the steps leading to 'becoming'. But how can you just 'be'?
By 'not doing', you can step into living in the 'being'. What is
the 'being'? Don’t do! When you stop 'doing', you will be in that
state of 'being'. You ARE the very 'being'.
The Experience of Closed and Opened Eyes
My friends, here is a simple experience. We want to keep our eyes
wide open and look everywhere because then we feel secure. We
think, 'There are so many people to help me.' Actually, nobody
will come to your rescue or to anybody’s rescue. It is enough if
you are not put to any harm. Then, why do we want to keep our eyes
wide open and ears always ready to hear? When the senses are
exposed, expressed, exhibited, and opened, it gives you a feeling
of security and safety. I know what is in front of me. I see what
is happening all around me and I hear what people are talking
about. I feel the touch and listen to the sound. So the senses
indirectly prompt a sense of safety and security.
Yet in the state of 'being', you have to withdraw your senses. You
have to close your eyes and ears because 'becoming' is outside,
but 'being' is within. Even when I close my eyes, I'm very eager
to open them again! There are some people who close their eyes for
some time during darshan, but in-between they open their eyes
immediately.
Once we close our eyes, there is absolute darkness. We feel an
abyss there, so we feel totally lost and experience non-identity.
In that deep valley of darkness, there is no hope, no promise, and
no entertainment. We don’t want to remain with our eyes closed for
too long. Why? I am lost in the darkness. I feel insecure and
afraid. When I open my eyes, I feel, 'Oh, my friend is here! O.K.,
I am fine.' People say, "Sai Ram, Anil Kumar!" Then I feel that I
am something. Good! When I hear somebody saying, "Oh, last week’s
talk was good," it is very nice! My ego is fanned all the time. I
answer, "I see! Why did you like it?" I start fishing for
compliments.
The point is this. With these things, my ego is kept alive and
played up to. I am quite fine when the ego is inflated. When I
close my eyes, nobody is there to praise me. When I don't hear
anything, there is nobody speaking nicely of me. I feel lost when
the ordinary 'I'-ness, the ego, is totally gone. Therefore, I want
to come back to my senses, to this 'realistic' world. But my
friends, the state of 'being' lies in sublime silence. It does not
have anything to do with goals and ideals.
When I close my eyes in meditation, I am no longer a district
collector, an engineer, a doctor, or a professor. I'm nothing - a
void, a vacuum, a deep valley, an abyss, and an empty space. This
means that the ego, the ordinary 'I'-ness, is gone. You are a
non-entity, having lost your normal identity.
That is what we call 'sublime silence', where you enjoy the real
being by not doing. If you want to see, you should open your eyes.
If you want to hear, you should be receptive. If you want to know
the sense of touch, you should touch somebody. But in your state
of being, don’t do anything. Just sit calmly. Withdraw and be
peaceful.
I'm sure most of you must have heard of the great sage of
Tiruvannamalai, Ramana Maharshi, a great man. Somebody asked him,
"Oh Bhagavan, what should we do to attain liberation?" He answered,
"Don’t do." The fellow returned and started speaking to somebody
saying, "I should not have come here. I made a wrong choice of a
guru. (Laughter) I thought that he would show me some way. I
thought that he would tell me some manthra to repeat. I thought
that he would give some kind of path, prescription, or spiritual
procedure to be followed. Here is a man who only says, ‘Don’t do.’
I have not traveled all this distance just to be informed, ‘Don’t
do!’"
A wiser man answered this man saying, "Ramana Maharshi told you
not to do anything because by doing you are going to become. By
not doing, you’ll get into the state of being. Being is non-doing;
becoming is doing." So, in being, you can experience the sublime
state of silence, when all the senses are withdrawn. I think I'm
clear.
Having Total Acceptance
Then what happens? When I close my eyes, withdraw, and the ego is
killed, I am in a state of total acceptance. Here is a simple
example. Even in simple things, we are not prepared to accept
ourselves. I think that you’ll agree with me. Talk to some
devotees. Let us say that you say, "Swami gave me this ring." The
next man won't say, "Is that so?" Instead he’ll say, "You got a
ring this year. But He gave me this ring last year! Do you know
that I'm senior to you?" (Laughter)
Then if I say, "Swami gave me vibhuthi just now," the other man
will say, "Oh! He has given me vibhuthi ten times so far!" If he
says, "I am lucky enough to have got an interview," you'll start
saying, "We all got family interviews a dozen times, and
individual family members got interviews twenty times!" You start
impressing upon him your seniority, greatness, and your intensity
of devotion. You try to impress it upon that man until he is
totally frustrated! (Laughter) Why? We have not come to a state of
acceptance. This kind of talking or dialogue should not be an
obsession. One should feel, "All right, if nobody talks to me, it
doesn’t matter. If everyone talks to me, it’s also O.K."
"Every time I come here, Swami says, 'When did you come?' This
time though, He never looked at me. So I curse myself for having
made a trip to this place. Every time He either takes a letter or
smiles. He talks or grants an interview to me. But this time, He
has totally ignored me. Therefore, all the money, time, and energy
is wasted. Had I invested it, I would have gotten so much more
profit." Is it right to say this? No!
Total and unconditional acceptance comes about in sublime silence,
when the ego does not exist. There we will feel that whatever has
happened, even if we were unlucky, we can respond saying, "Yes, I
accept this. Out of this unlucky situation, a lucky situation is
going to emerge." All days are not Sundays. I accept this dark
night, as it will be followed by a brighter day. Every brighter
day will again be followed by a dark night. Both do equal good to
you. I cannot curse night saying, "Fie! Night is very dark. I don’t
like it because it is a time for thieves, robbers, and all other
illegal activities!" "Oh, then when are you going to take rest and
sleep?" Then you may answer, "No, Sir. I take rest in my office.
So I don’t need night now, thank you!" (Laughter) Then you are
really a great man, a great philosopher!
God has given us the night in order to have enough leisure and in
order to take rest. God has given night so that you can rest
comfortably and gain some energy, so the next morning you can be
dynamic, energetic, and work better. Those who have no sleep on
the previous night cannot work the next morning. Some people go on
dozing in the classroom. Why? They had no sleep the previous
night. Sleep ensures work. Work needs rest and rest ensures work.
Rest and work go together. Day and night go together. Therefore my
friends, have acceptance.
"Sir, I'm always positive!" Oh! Positive and negative wires are
required for the flow of the electric current. "Sir, I don’t like
death." Then you don’t enjoy birth. (Laughter) When there is no
death, you cannot appreciate birth. "Sir, I want to be youthful
always." Oh! If you are eternally youthful, you’ll get disgusted.
There is grace in old age also. Old age has its own beauty also.
You may not like to be called old, but "Old is gold!"
Every state of life has got its own beauty. Youth has its own
luster, attraction, and grandeur. Old age has its own maturity,
experience, wisdom, and advantages. Childhood has its own beauty,
fun, frolic, and play. There’s no point in me feeling badly right
now. "Why is it that I'm not so young like my students? I feel so
badly that I cannot wear jeans, T-shirts, and broad belts." If I
did, I would look like a piece from a circus or a museum! (Laughter)
I should age gracefully so that everybody would like to come to me
and share my experiences and wisdom.
Acceptance of what you are, no matter what profession or state of
life, is possible in the sublime state of silence. This sort of
acceptance is a benediction. Benediction is the blessing of God. "Bhagavan
stopped talking to me." Yes, it is a benediction! Why? In this
sort of (inward) search or journey, pining and anxiety will
increase more and more. I will think of Him more and more. When He
talks to me or grants me an interview, there ends the matter (as I
would go on publicizing about it)! My business is publicity and
vanity, not Self-inquiry! By not talking to me, He’s taking me to
the field of (inner) inquiry. By talking to me, He is just pushing
me to the field of (outer) publicity, which is so dangerous.
Therefore, we should understand it like this.
Bhagavan neglects you and is silent to make you a better seeker.
It’s just like a son staying abroad for the last ten years. You
think of him more than the son who is right in front of you.
Distance lends enchantment. So there’s beauty in being outwardly
distanced and neglected.
There is also beauty in what is called Divine Romance. Divine
Romance could be better understood in silence, which is the
greatest eloquence. Most of us know this. One can be eloquent in
an utter state of silence. When Swami does not talk, I go on
imagining, 'Maybe I did something wrong? I must have committed
some sin or gone against His Will or been disobedient. Or perhaps
somebody must have written something against me. Others may have
thought something against me.' On the other hand, if He talks to
you, there ends the matter.
Therefore, everything has its own beauty, advantage, and
plus-points. Never condemn or judge anything. Judgement is
dangerous. Condemnation is horrible and terrible. We should be
able to accept things as they come, to enjoy the beauty of life.
Benediction is God's blessing. It comes from experiencing
acceptance in the sublime state of silence.
Sublime Silence is Beyond Obsession
What happens in 'becoming' is that everything becomes an obsession.
Some people say, "I am very rich." They say they are rich because
they have profits in geometric proportions and have bank accounts
full of money. There is another man who says, "I lost all my money
in the recent Gujarat earthquake. Even the bank is gone! So then,
where is my money?" So one man has losses, the other man has gains.
Money is the common factor, an obsession.
But in the state of sublime silence, you go beyond obsession.
Money is not a factor, causing feelings of pride, humiliation,
satisfaction, or dissatisfaction. "All right! I have money, O.K."
Or, "Well, I don’t have money. OK, fine. Why not?" So you just
have to accept whether you have it or do not have it. Just because
I have money, you don’t need to pose. Just because you don’t have
it, you don’t need to feel depressed. You go beyond this obsession
with money.
"I like food. I enjoy food." O.K. "I don’t eat food like you do. I
have got my own regulations and restrictions. I don’t eat hot
foodstuff and I don’t like pepper. I just eat a bland diet." Thank
God you don’t eat all of that! Why should I be bothered? The one
who overeats is a glutton and the one who does not eat is
observing a fast. But both have this common factor of food and
eating. It is an obsession.
On the other hand, in this field of sublime silence, there is
acceptance and benediction, whether you eat well and have the food
you want or not. Most of you who are here for the first time may
have tried to eat the hot sambar (spicy South Indian soup) when
you went to the South Indian canteen. It is so hot (due to the
spices) that you will remember it until you return here again next
time! (Laughter) I know that you are not used to this kind of
spicy food. But as food is not an obsession for you, you take
whatever is available here.
Food is in plenty where you come from. You have pie, Sprite, 7-Up,
cheese, and pizza there. Yet, you don’t come to Puttaparthi for
all of that. Pizza is not the attraction here. You will not think,
'I don’t have the foodstuffs I want in Puttaparthi, like Kentucky
Fried Chicken and hamburgers, so I won’t go there!' It is not an
obsession for you. Instead you think, 'All right, we accept what
little we get in the foreigners canteen. If pizza is there, good!
If it is not there, we will be happy with the buttermilk in the
South Indian canteen.'
We are happy with what we have. We don’t complain about what we do
not have. If you complain with what you do not have, you are
obsessed. If you insist, "These are my requirements. Prepare a
dosa (South Indian pancake) with at least 100 grams of chilies and
200 grams of onions!" Now that is an obsession. "If there is dosa,
it is fine. Or if there is something else to eat like idly, that
is also fine. Very good, I can manage." So, this is the state of
being beyond obsession. 'Being' is non-obsessed. It is never
obsessive.
When you go beyond, that state is called transcendence. You do not
submit and you are not a victim. I asked some people, "You don’t
have mosquitoes in your country. How are you able to manage now?
How are you able to sleep with the mosquitoes here?" They said,
"OK, fine. Everything is fine." They didn’t say, "I am not able to
sleep because of mosquitoes." Of course, fellows like me, who are
used to mosquitoes, cannot sleep without them! (Laughter) That’s a
different thing. We are used to the humming and the music of the
mosquitoes, which is something like casino or pop music to our
ears! (Laughter)
The State of Transcendence
One may have specific requirements like, "I want that and I cannot
do without it." In the state of transcendence, one feels, 'If I
have all that I need. It is very good. Yet, thank God that, even
if I don’t have it, I’ll be able to manage.' This happens when you
go beyond the senses. Transcendence is possible when there is
perfect understanding. A man may not be able to transcend or go
beyond limitations. Why? It means that there is no proper
understanding. When there is proper understanding, one will be
able to transcend.
"O.K., Baba is most important. It doesn’t matter what kind of food
there is, or whether there is a comfortable room or not." You have
understood the very purpose of coming here, so the other things
become secondary. There are some people who say, "I don’t come to
Puttaparthi often because I don’t have many conveniences over
there." All right, bury yourself where you are! Conveniences and
comforts are not that important. They are secondary.
To serve Bhagavan is primary. Out of this understanding, you get
into the state of transcendence, which is nothing but going beyond
obsessions. This is possible because of the benediction you get
from God, out of total acceptance and in a state of sublime
silence.
Total acceptance is the reason why some people are happy. Bhagavan
always refers to many of the devotees coming from long, long
distances. Particularly, whenever He talks to students, He
necessarily makes a mention of the foreigners. He always tells the
boys, "Look at the faces of all the foreigners. They come with
smiling faces. They are very happy. Even if I call only one or two
people for an interview, all the members of that group are happy.
If I say, 'How are you?' all of them are happy. When I say, 'When
did you come?' all are happy. In fact, they shake the hands of the
person who gets the interview because that Divine vibration also
will get into them! (Laughter) That is the state of their
happiness. Whereas you fellows are not happy, though I am in your
midst, move amongst you, and talk to you every day. What is the
use?"
So we are not happy because of our discontentment, lack of
understanding, expectations, obsessions, and our false image and
personality. Left to myself, I'm not worried whether Bhagavan
talks to me or not. However, I am worried because of what others
may think of me. They will start questioning me, "Did Swami talk
to you?" How can I tell him, "I am sorry, He did not talk to me"?
So I must concoct a story, "He did not talk to me because He
already knows what I am thinking." I see. (Laughter) It is a
convenient philosophy.
So, I'm afraid of public opinion. I’m afraid that my image might
be damaged for any reason. I am afraid that the false personality,
which I have developed over a period of time, might be totally
shattered. My ego is affected. My vanity is gone. I'm very much
worried. This worry is even more than the benefit that the
interview confers! This has been the experience of many people.
There are no exceptions. The point is that happiness disappears
because of this false image and all that accompanies it.
Sadhana or Spiritual Practice
Now, having come from the steps of 'Don’t do, don't become,' but 'be',
we get into the field of sadhana or spiritual practice. I want to
deal with this for the couple of minutes that are left.
We do spiritual practice in two ways: One way is with the mind and
the other way is with the heart. How do you do spiritual practice
with the mind? There are some people who can recite poems at a
stretch. There are some people who can chant manthras non-stop.
Others may have totally memorized the 108 or 1008 Names of God by
heart. They go on repeating that - "Ta-da, ta-da, ta-da, ta-da.."
Ah-ha! All this exercise is by the mind.
Spiritual practice undertaken by the mind is useless, futile, and
will lead us to failure. Why? Spirituality is beyond the mind. You
are not the mind. Bhagavan says, "Mind is like a mad monkey. Body
is a water bubble." So whatever spiritual practice you do with
that mind is sure to be foolish, useless, and much worse than
madness. God and spirituality are beyond the mind. Mind is nothing
but the ego.
How do most of us manage with the mind? Those who say, "I have
done such-and-such" are just within the limitations of the mind.
"I meditate every day." "I worship every day." "We do so many
things in Sai Centers." All these claims of 'doing' arise out of
the mind. "We do this." "I have done this." "I attend Suprabhatam
(an awakening prayer, recited just before dawn, to awaken the
Divine within us) every day." By doing that, you are not
contributing to the world’s welfare! So, this claim of 'I am
doing', this ordinary 'I'-ness, is from the mind.
When once the mind begins sadhana, it first drowns itself in the
state of memory. It goes on recalling, "Ten years ago, do you know
what happened?" "Fifteen years ago, this happened." "I have been
visiting for twenty years, long before there were many buildings
here." Very good! Please go near the Chitravati River, where there
are no buildings still now. There you can think of those days and
never return! (Laughter)
Mind is nothing but memory, and that memory expresses itself in
words or letters. "I sing bhajans." "I recite manthras."
Recitation, chanting, and singing are only born out of memory.
Repetition is boring. That’s all. If I teach the same lesson every
day, the boys will curse themselves and wait eagerly for a holiday!
(Laughter) Most children go to sleep while listening to the
stories of their grandmother. It is not that the stories are
interesting. The stories are boring and being helpless in that
situation, the kids fall asleep! (Laughter) "It is a full moon
day. An old woman is sitting under a tree. An ant bites her. The
ant goes to some fox." The child has been listening to the same
story every day. The child starts moving the limbs hither and
thither. Then he helplessly goes to sleep. It is not in spite of
her story. It is because of her story! (Laughter)
Therefore my friends, repetition is boring, mechanical, and a
routine. Everything done with the mind comes down to the level of
a machine. It is something like a railway or air flight timetable
of arrivals and departures. "Meditation - arrival at 6 o’clock,
departure at 7 o’clock." Bhajans start at 6:30 and end at 7 o’clock.
Tsk! This is a state done with the mind. There’s no freshness,
beauty, thrill, excitement, or wonder. It continues to be the same
yesterday and today.
My friends, we shouldn’t let our lives be mechanical. When our
lives become mechanical, life is not worth living. Whether it is
family life or professional life, religious life or social life,
it should not be mechanical. Mechanical life is death. A life of
routine is about the past. A life of schedule has no charm. A
programmed life is the life of a computer. It should not be like
that.
Sadhana with the Heart
On the other hand, when once you do your sadhana (spiritual
practice) with your heart, it is not merely the memory that
matters, it is the meaning that counts. You should want to feel
the very meaning, not simply remember the Name. When I sing
bhajans, I contemplate on the meaning. ‘Krishna’ means 'the one
who quenches or fulfills the thirst of desire'. Then it is much
more meaningful when you sing, 'Oh Krishna!' It should not just be
'Krishna' sung or repeated with the mind - one, two, three and
gone! Why should 'Krishna' be sung with the mind? I don’t know!
You may think, 'Since everybody else does it, let me also do it,
so that others won’t think that I'm an atheist! Others should feel
that I'm a devotee. Therefore I will shout the bhajan, so as to
sound like a better devotee.' Is that right?
You can draw on the true meaning and feeling when you make the
heart a substratum or base - a foundation. This is different from
the mind, which works only by the memory. What happens when you
dwell on and identify with the meaning? Then whatever manthra you
recite is a song. Whatever you read, hear, or do is poetry and
music. It becomes the very dance of life. Then life has all charm,
beauty, attraction, and dynamism. This is because the heart is the
foundation, the screen or backdrop, the substratum or base. Heart
is the stage on which you dance.
If the mind is left, then what happens? Anything that you do is
not simply an end by itself. I sing bhajans not for the sake of
bhajans alone. Singing bhajans is a means to an end, the end being
bliss. To be blissful, I sing bhajans. To be blissful, I worship.
To be blissful, I read books.
So, all spiritual sadhana is a means to an end, not an end by
itself. It is just a vehicle. A car is only a means to take me to
a destination. It is a vehicle towards the goal, a vehicle of
expression and communication, but not an end by itself. Thus the
heart will view everything, acting as a vehicle, to take you to
that state of bliss.
So my friends, let us get out of this 'becoming' and get into 'being'.
We can do this by undertaking the sadhana oriented in the heart,
not in the mind. This orientation in the heart will make us truly
alive and make our lives exciting, thrilling, and worth living.
Then life will never be a repetition.
Thank you!
May Baba be with you forever and ever more!
(Anil Kumar closed his satsang by leading the bhajan, 'Kshirabdhi
Shayana Narayana...')
© Anil Kumar Kamaraju 2004 - Here
reproduced for personal use of the devotees for the purpose of
seva.
Anil Kumar website:
http://www.internety.com/anilkhome/ -
http://www.internety.com/saipearls/
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